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George W. Bush
 
"I should have clarified it by my statement. I just clarified it by my—not should have—I just."—Bush, trying to clarify a statement Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Holds Media Availability with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi," Sept. 14, 2002
 
 

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"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
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Murphy Applying For A Job

By: marrakeshmanPublished: 10/22/2007
 
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Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.

Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job"

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"

Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."

Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."

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    AM and PM stand for "Ante-Meridian" and "Post-Meridian," respectively, and A.D. actually stands for "Anno Domini" rather than "After Death."