"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."Austin, Texas, Dec. 20, 2000
Random Quote
"Rick Sutcliffe was the rookie of the year in his first year." — Mets broadcaster Ralph Kiner
Snapple Facts
#76 The average person spends 2 years on the phone in his/her lifetime.
Yo Mama ...
is so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
One Liners
Q. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A. Because they have big fingers.
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"
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Holidays Tips For Eating 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
12.16.2006
