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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush
 
"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq." —Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
— Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#150 The first sport to be filmed was boxing in 1894.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: By psychologically breaking down her confidence with a rigorous behavior modification schedule, alternating between sensory deprivation and sensory overload, thereby breaking down her conception of self, leaving her unable to resist outside suggestion.
 
 



32,012 articles July 4, 2008 556,275 postings




As of Today
sorted by Date

The Bank Robbery
A man with a gun went into a bank and demanded their money. Once he was given the money, he turned to a customer and asked, 'Did you see me rob this bank?'
Published : 06.15.2008

Rate: 3.73
Wedding Cake
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Published : 06.14.2008

Rate: 3.75
After 45 Years Of Marriage
After nearly 45 years of marriage a couple was lying ...
Published : 06.08.2008

Rate: 3.92
Marriage 6 X 4
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. ...
Published : 05.27.2008

Rate: 3.73
Grandpa's On The Porch Again
A boy came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed ...
Format: Unknown
Published : 05.22.2008

Rate: 3.83
How To Tell The Sex Of A Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband ...
Format: Unknown
Published : 05.17.2008

Rate: 3.73
What's In A Name?
A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted ...
Format: Unknown
Published : 05.11.2008

Rate: 3.71
Seducing The Male
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, ...
Format: Unknown
Published : 05.02.2008

Rate: 3.73
Ther Hired Hand
The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year-old rancher ...
Published : 04.14.2008

Rate: 3.83
Flying A Kite
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. ...
Published : 04.12.2008

Rate: 3.62
Smart Dirty Old Man
A middle-aged woman decides to have a face-lift for ...
Published : 04.10.2008

Rate: 3.73
Lifesavers
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) ...
Published : 03.23.2008

Rate: 3.83
KNICKERLESS GIRLS
The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as ...
Format: Unknown
Published : 02.28.2008

Rate: 3.92
Found It
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the misses felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
Published : 02.13.2008

Rate: 3.73
Deep Thoughts While Fishing
Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing ...
Published : 02.12.2008

Rate: 3.92
New Department Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
Published : 02.11.2008

Rate: 3.73
What's For Dinner
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner ...
Published : 02.10.2008

Rate: 3.73
Jackknives And Breast Stroke
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted ...
Published : 01.28.2008

Rate: 3.47
A Nine Out Of Ten
I was meeting a friend in a bar and as I went in, ...
Published : 01.22.2008

Rate: 2.89
Games for the Elderly / Signs of Menopause / Old is When
1. Sag, you're It.
Published : 01.20.2008

Rate: 2.14
Take A Sweater
Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of ...
Published : 01.16.2008

Rate: 3.93
Old Flame
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend ...
Published : 01.09.2008

Rate: 3.80
This Is Heaven
This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost ...
Published : 01.07.2008

Rate: 1.97
The Maid Asks For A Raise
The Madam was very upset because her maid Maria insisted on an increase.
Published : 12.31.2007

Rate: 3.93
Geography Of A Woman / Geography Of A Man
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Published : 12.30.2007

Rate: 3.83
A Fair Divorce Settlement
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," ...
Published : 12.14.2007

Rate: 3.73
Genetics Of Intelligence
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, ...
Published : 12.13.2007

Rate: 3.83
At The Beach
Sarah, a recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting ...
Published : 12.12.2007

Rate: 3.80
Dusty Underware
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, ...
Published : 11.22.2007

Rate: 3.27
Cynical Look At Marriage
You have two choices in life: You can stay single ...
Published : 11.21.2007

Rate: 3.92

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Poll Results
 
Who Are You Planning on Voting for in November?
John McCain - at least he's honest about 100 years of war
Hillary - she'll cut the troop levels from 150K to 80K
Obama - same as Hillary and they both will increase Blackwater funding
All 3 are equally in bed with the business of war
Hulk Hogan
Ralph Nader
Mickey Mouse
Ashley Dupre
Ron Paul
Who cares, it's been fixed in advance anyway
688 Responses
 
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Goofball Facts
 
In a year, the average person walks four miles making their bed.