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George W. Bush
 
"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons." Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Remarks by the President at Chris Chocola for Congress, and Indiana Victory 2002 Finance Dinner," Sept. 5, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every sooften I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a callfrom a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out.""
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

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#199 The largest cheesecake ever-made weighed 57,508 lbs.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly not even her Rice Crispies will talk to her!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.
 
 


Women Say Men are like...

By: DirkSteelePublished: 09/12/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Men are like ... Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like ... Cement
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like ... Chocolate Bars
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like ... Blenders
You think that you need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like ... Coolers
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like ... Copiers
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like ... Curling Irons
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like ... Government Bonds
They take so long to mature.

Men are like ... High Heels
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like ... Horoscopes
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like ... Lawn Mowers
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Men are like ... Lava Lamps
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like ... Laxatives
They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like ... Mascara
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like ... Mini Skirts
If you're not careful they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like ... Noodles
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and the need dough.

Men are like ... Parking Spots
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.

Men are like ... Weather
Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ... Plungers
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like ... Popcorn
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like ... Placemats
They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like ... Snowstorms
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Men are like ... Used Cars
Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like ... Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.

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ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
good1 (0 replies)
started by cwm4happiness
(02.23.2001 1:47:09 PM EST)

Too funny and sadly Too true

Literally laughing out loud! (0 replies)
started by shybrina222
(02.04.2001 0:48:35 AM EST)

How funny is this?

dannis

no!!! (0 replies)
started by coleman22
(12.24.2000 5:56:33 PM EST)

I am a guy this is sexist to who ever wrote it eat shit.

cole

Hmmmm... (0 replies)
started by gurly
(11.13.2000 0:02:07 AM EST)

Funny......some of them are so true and too familiar to me...L

    ~gurly~

Hmmmm... (0 replies)
started by gurly
(11.13.2000 0:02:02 AM EST)

Funny......some of them are so true and too familiar to me...L

    ~gurly~

wondering (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(10.19.2000 7:29:33 PM EST)

Where can I find more of your jokes in video form?
mcmullinbill@hotmail.com

or bmcmullin@pei.sympatico.com

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    Before Prohibition, Shlitz Brewery owned more property in Chicago than anyone else, except The Catholic Church.