Advice From Men to Women
By: Anonymous	Published: 07/09/2000
Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.' If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't mean we're not watching it. Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want one. Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials. Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment. Please don't drive when you're not driving. Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for the punchline. The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave. He's just not crying. Big difference! When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine. What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view. When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp, saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary. When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself. The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be slightly to moderately cooler than you want it. SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk to your sister. Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear? If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work? You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about. It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz together! Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?
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Hey anonymous first flamer (0 replies) started by ayanami99 (01.22.2001 8:49:46 PM EST) there is no god dumbass true, true, baby, true

hmmm (0 replies) started by sexonthebeach (07.11.2000 2:17:56 AM EST) why do i feel like ive heard this before??? oh .. iknow... it must be because i have and if i hear it again... i think i am going to shoot myself in the head crazy sons of bitches

hmmmmm (0 replies) started by Anonymous Goofball (07.10.2000 6:05:27 PM EST) i'm hungry

cant goofball get anything new? (0 replies) started by JxGujuJx (07.09.2000 11:46:09 AM EST) this is like the 3rd time ice seen this Who needs a fucking signature!!!!

people who claim first suck..lol (0 replies) started by SuicideKing (07.09.2000 1:04:57 AM EST) the joke was pretty good though

FIRST (1 reply)   started by Anonymous Goofball (06.28.2000 0:56:38 AM EST) AFTER 1 YEAR MY first 1st..I would like to thank mom, dad, god, and all the little people who got me here

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