There was an old guy wandering around the supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisssssssco!"
Soon a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco is in aisle D."
The old gentleman replied, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff, I am calling my wife."
"Your wife's name is Crisco?"
The old man answered, "Oh, no, no, no. I only call her that when we're out in public."
"Well, what do you call her when you are at home?"
"Lard Ass."
Love the country, live to pee outside!
