The Official Men's Room Etiquette Aptitude Exam
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The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An "X" will indicate "in use."
(Sample):
| | | x | | | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6 are occupied.)
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You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!
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Easy Section
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1.)
| | x | | x | | | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
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Your choice: ___
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Correct answer: 6 It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.
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2.)
| x | | | | | | (Urinal 1 occupied.)
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Your choice: ___
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Correct answer: 6 Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.
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Kind of tricky Section:
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3.)
| | | | | | | (empty)
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Your choice: __
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Correct answer: 1 or 6 You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."
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4.)
| | x | | x | | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
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Your choice: ___
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Correct answer: 1 You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.
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Subtle, tricky, but important to know Section
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5.)
| | x | | | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
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Your choice: __
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Correct answer: 4 Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand!
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VERY tricky indeed Section
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6.)
| x | x | | | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
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Your choice: ___
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Correct answer: NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for goodness sake! ... use a doored stall.
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Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again".
