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George W. Bush
 
"A free, peaceful Zimbabwe has got the capacity to deliver a lot of goods and services which are needed on this continent in order to help aleve suffering." —Bush, making a plug for "Aleve" pain reliever in speaking about alleviating suffering in Africa Source: The White House, "President Bush Discusses U.S.-Africa Partnership from South Africa, Press Availability with President Bush and President Mbeki of South Africa," July 9, 2003
 
 

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"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
— Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins. (1991)
 
 

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#158 The first MTV video was "Video Killed the Radio Star," by the Buggles.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so slutty she has Trojan written on her gumline.
 
 

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Q: Why is it impossible for a woman to find a man who is caring, sensitive, and also good-looking?
A: All those men already have boyfriends.
 
 


Just Like Old Times

By: AnonymousPublished: 11/04/2004
 
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I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.

"Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"

She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!

"Yeah," I said, "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying she thought tubby bald men were cute. "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!"

So I hung up on the fat bitch.

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