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George W. Bush
 
"Some one of my visits—one of the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question, you know, to people, because if there's moving too slow or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening, now's the time to find out."—Bush, talking about hurricane relief Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Tornado Damage," May 13, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: 'I'm cheap.'"
— Delta Burke, Actress
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#218 A jackrabbit can travel more than 12 feet in one hop.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.
 
 


Risque Q & A

By: DrEvilPublished: 01/12/1999
 
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Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom

Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up

Q: What do the gynecologist and the pizza delivery guy have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

Q: How can you tell if you are at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl

Q: Why does a bride wear white?
A: Because the dishwasher should match the stove and the refrigerator.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full

Q: What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night?
A: Hanson

Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
A: Made her chain too long

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw

Q: What do you call a dog with 4" legs and 6" steel balls?
A: Sparky

Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after three periods.

Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out

Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in kid's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.

Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing and in the end, you lose your house

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you

Q: What's the diff between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

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    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (03.13.2001 6:48:47 PM EST)

    wow im first somone mail me a meadal

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