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Assorted Goofiness
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George W. Bush |
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"Some communities, you say, "Hey, American dream," and they go, "What does that mean?"Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Manchester, New Hampshire Welcome," Oct. 5, 2002
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Random Quote |
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"That's the president of the United States you're talking about, pinhead."
— Vice President Al Gore
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Snapple Facts |
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#170 In 1878, the first telephone book ever issued contained only 50 names.
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Yo Mama ... |
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has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.
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One Liners |
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Q. How do you stop a Taliban tank?
A. Shoot the guys pushing it.
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 George's Physical | | By: Elaine | Published: 01/28/1999 | | |  |
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70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"
George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I'm done."
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, "that's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?"
Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
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