A heavyset guy who had tried every diet in the world in an
attempt to lose weight? He tried the Scarsdale diet, the Navy
diet, Weight Watchers, and many more. None worked.
Then, one day, he was reading the Washington Post when he
noticed a small ad that read:
Lose weight
Only $1.00 a pound
Call (202) 555-0238
The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice
on the other end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?"
The man responded, "Ten pounds." The voice replied, "Very well,
give me your credit card number and we'll have a representative
over to your house in the morning."
About 9:00 am the next morning the man gets a
knock on the
door.
There stood a beautiful redhead, completely naked except for a
sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me, you can have
me." Well, the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs,
over sofas, through the kitchen, all around the house. Finally,
panting and wheezing like a dog, he did catch her. When he was
through enjoying himself, she said, "Quick, go into the
bathroom
and weigh yourself." He did just that and was amazed to find
that he had lost ten pounds, right
to the ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice on the other
end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?" The
somewhat-less-overweight man replied, "Twenty pounds." "Very
well," the voice on the phone told him, "Give me your credit
card number and we’ll have a representative over to your house
in the morning."
At about 8:00 am the next morning the man receives a knock on
the door. When he opens the door he sees a beautiful blonde
dressed only in track shoes
and a sign around her neck stating,
"If you catch me, you can have me." The chase took a good while
longer this time and the man nearly passed out, but he finally
did catch her. When he was through she told him, "Quick, run
into the bathroom and weigh yourself." He ran to the bathroom
and found he had lost another 20 pounds! "This is fantastic!"
he
thought to himself.
Later that evening he called the number again and the voice at
the other end asked, "How much weight do you want to
lose?"
"Fifty pounds!" the man exclaimed. "Fifty pounds?" the voice
asked, "That’s an awful lot of weight to lose at one time." The
man replied, "Listen buddy, here's my credit card number, you
just have your representative over here in the morning!" and he
hung up the phone.
About 6:00 am the next morning the man gets out of bed,
splashes
on some cologne and gets all ready for the next representative.
At about 7:00 am he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the
door, he sees this
large gorilla with a sign around his
neck:
"If I catch you, I'm going to screw you!"
