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"We will be steadfast and strong in our desire to make the world more free."Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002
 
 

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Look out Bat'ter!

By: KathleenBradburyPublished: 04/10/1999
 
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A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, all covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "Ok, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

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