Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"Sometimes Washington is one of these towns where the people who think they've got the sharp elbows are the most effective person."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Participates in a Terrell-for-Senate Luncheon," Dec. 3, 2002
 
 

Random Quote
 
"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor...I told him he was grounded."
— Tim Allen, Comedian
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#225 There are towns named Sandwich in Illinois and Massachusetts.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly when a child, she had to be fed with a slingshot!
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
A: He did okay until his business fell off.
 
 


My Dog Rules

By: KenGayPublished: 07/05/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Five men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, the fourth was a computer tech, and the fifth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty incredible.

But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and commanded "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was more than a little impressive.

The computer tech knew he could top them all. "Hard Drive, have at it." Hard Drive crossed the room and booted the computer, checked for viruses, upgraded the operating system, sent an email, and installed a cool new game. Everyone knew that was a tough act to follow.

Then the four men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?"

The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff, Boy." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, erased all the files on the computer, sexually assaulted the other four dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation and went home for a six-month sick leave.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?


More Miscellaneous Jokes...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
You Rock (0 replies)
started by dubetube
(02.26.2001 3:25:55 PM EST)

This Joke Is So Sweet. Never Under-estimate Stupid People In Large Numbers

Your Always Better Off Being Lucky Than Good

stupid (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(12.14.2000 4:56:06 PM EST)

stupidstupidstupidstupids

blow me!!!!!!!! (0 replies)  
started by Anonymous Goofball
(06.07.2000 5:09:35 PM EST)

this joke kicks ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Unknown Chinese Proverbs
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
11.17.2008

Suicide Hotline
Iwas depressed last night so, I called Lifeline.....
11.14.2008

Words And Alcohol
Things that are difficult to say when drunk ...
11.11.2008

Mick Jagger's Frog
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. ...
10.09.2008

Rate This!

2.94 Goofballs of 5
120 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Don't You Just Love Engrish?
    Doctors' office, Rome: "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER ...
    11.19.2007

    Thoughts For The Weekend
    Wouldn't it be nice if ...
    11.17.2007

    Nurse
    A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after ...
    11.06.2007

    10 Year Old Blues
    A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about ...
    10.29.2007

    Two Years Ago
    Jack's Last Will And Testament
    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family ...
    11.22.2006

    Two-By-Fours
    Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. ...
    11.21.2006

    How Moses Got The 10 Commandments
    God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments ...
    11.20.2006

    Smart Granddaughter
    Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter ...
    11.17.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Spy vs. Spy Casebook

    Goofball Facts
     
    Rhode Island is the smallest state with the longest name. The official name, used on all state documents, is Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.