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Near Death Experience

By: prattishPublished: 02/20/2001
 
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Three missionaries were traveling through the deep jungle of the Congo when they were captured by a tribe of natives, all three were taken and tied to stakes in front of the whole village, where they were confronted by the Chief and what looked like his assistant.

The Chief began a loud and very emotional speech to the tribe while constantly pointing and waving at the three missionaries. The crowd was beginning to get very riled and excited. Finally the Chief turned to the assistant and started speaking to him in a level calm voice.

The assistant, obviously now an interpreter, turned to the three and said in loud clear English, "You have violated our land, an example must be made to prevent your people from returning!"

He walked up to the first Missionary and asked, "Chi-chi or Death?" With these words, the crowd began cheering and chanting.

Not having the faintest clue what "Chi-chi" was, but knowing full well what Death was, he did not hesitate to shout, "Chi-chi!"

The Chief nodded and repeated, "Chi-chi!" The cheering crowd surged forward and grabbed the man and proceeded to beat and rape him. This went on for some time right in front of the Chief and the other two missionaries. Then after the crowd seemed to mellow, the man was stripped and sent naked running into the jungle in the direction of home.

Now, the assistant walked up to the second missionary and asked, "Chi-chi or Death?" Again, the crowd began cheering and chanting.

Now knowing what "Chi-chi" was, but still fearing Death more, he felt he had little choice, "Chi-chi" he whispered, barely audible, defeat in his eyes.

The Chief nodded and repeated, "Chi-chi!" Again in a near mirror performance, the crowd assaulted and abused the missionary for nearly the exact length of time. With the same result, the man running naked towards the jungle and presumably to home and a therapist.

Now, the assistant walked up to the last missionary and asked again, "Chi-chi or Death?" The crowd cheering and chanting yet again.

A complete study of dignity, the last missionary stood as tall as his bonds would allow and announced with total authority, "I choose Death!"

The crowd went silent. The Chief walked solemnly to the last missionary and spoke to him, the assistant then asked the man, "Chief wants to know if this is what you really want?"

At full lung the man roared out, "I choose Death!"

With this the Chief broke into a wide grin, and the crowd went nuts. As the crowd rushed forward, the Chief screamed, "Death by Chi-chi!"

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    There is symbolism used in this joke! (0 replies)
    started by duck888
    (02.20.2001 12:05:52 PM EST)

    The Congo represent Harlem.
    The Tribe represent the Nation of Islam.
    The chief represent Louis Farakan.
    The missionaries represent the New York Police Department.

    Old one (0 replies)
    started by iluvpie
    (02.20.2001 8:43:57 AM EST)

    Heard this in the third grade, except is was death by Unga-Bunga.

    The thing about pussy is that it always wants you to commit to it, but never wants you to actually have it.

    twice is also nice (0 replies)
    started by art187
    (02.20.2001 2:51:21 AM EST)

    yeah

    once again (0 replies)  
    started by samiland
    (02.20.2001 0:06:26 AM EST)

    once again another rerun.

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