1) You spend the first 2 years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
2) Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing
your children.
3) Cleaning your house while your kids are still
growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.
4) There is only one pretty child in the world and
every mother has it.
5) Parents of teens know why animals eat their
young.
6) I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said
they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
7) Children are natural mimics, who act like their
parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
8) Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
9) The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
10) We child-proofed our home 3 years ago and
they're still getting in!
11) Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your
nursing home.
Love the country, live to pee outside!
