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George W. Bush
 
"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again."Source: The Washington Post, "The Reliable Source," Lloyd Grove, Sept. 18, 2002
 
 

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"When I was in Boy Scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street."
— Steven Wright, Comedian
 
 

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#227 'Tsialogy' is anything written about tea.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
so ugly when she was born her incubator windows were tinted.
 
 

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Q: What does Bill Clinton tell Hillary right after sex?
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Tree Hugger

By: acidintervalPublished: 01/01/2003
 
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A rich lady from California who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest country doctor. Being a hunter himself, the doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared.

The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area and I'm sorry, they all turned me down."

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Hahaha, excellent! (0 replies)  
started by tjshere
(01.01.2003 1:04:17 AM EST)

Funny as hell, too! My cousin has a ranch in the woods of southern Oregon. I gotta send him this one.

"old-growth timber from a recreational area"

LMFAO!! ^5, Acid!

my schween is small but my tongue is mighty!

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    Goofball Facts
     
    The word "robot" was created by Karel Capek. It came from Czech/Slovak "robotovat," which means to work very hard.