A pirate walks off his ship. He has a wooden leg, a hook
instead of a hand, and a patch over his right eye. He sits
down on a bench, and begins throwing peanuts to the
seagulls.
Two curious young children shyly sit down next to him and
ask the pirate how he came to have a wooden leg.
The pirate replies, "Well, I was standing on the deck of me
ship one day, and a wave washed me overboard. Then a shark
came along and bit me leg off!"
The little boy then asked, "How did you lose your hand?"
"Many years ago, I was fighting the Navy, and one of them
scallywags cuts my hand off. Their doc couldn't find a hand,
so they puts this hook on," answered the pirate.
Next, the little girl asked, "How did you lose your eye?"
"Well," says the pirate, "I was standing watch up in the
crow's nest, and just as I looked up, a lousy seagull flew
over and did his business right in my eye!"
The children, thoroughly confused, exclaim "How did THAT
cause you to lose your eye?"
The pirate replies, "Well, it was my first day with the
hook."