"People make suggestions on what to say all the time. I'll give you an example; I don't read what's handed to me. People say, 'Here, here's your speech, or here's an idea for a speech.' They're changed. Trust me."-Interview with the New York Times, March 15, 2000
Random Quote
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." — Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88
Snapple Facts
#96 The average American will eat 35,000 cookies in his/her lifetime.
Yo Mama ...
is so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
One Liners
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact with a woman? A: Breasts don't have eyes.
I went into my proctologist's office for my first rectal exam. His new nurse took me to an examining room and told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.
While waiting I observed that there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a Tube of K-Y jelly; a rubber glove; and a beer.
When the doctor finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that Doctor Paul became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his nurse... "Darn it Helen! I said a BUTT LIGHT!"
Personally,I'd rather have the beer.Even if it is a Bud Lite.
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