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George W. Bush
 
"I should have clarified it by my statement. I just clarified it by my—not should have—I just."—Bush, trying to clarify a statement Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Holds Media Availability with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi," Sept. 14, 2002
 
 

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"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
— Jeff Foxworthy, Comedian
 
 

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#229 The Caspian Sea is actually a lake.
 
 

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so ugly when you look up ugly in the dictionary it has her picture.
 
 

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Q: Why do Canadians have sex doggie style?
A: So they both can watch the hockey game.
 
 


Nurse

By: acidintervalPublished: 11/06/2007
 
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A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after a 20 hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. She looks at the flabbergasted teller and without missing a beat says, 'Well, that's great...... That's really great...... Some asshole has my pen."

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    AM and PM stand for "Ante-Meridian" and "Post-Meridian," respectively, and A.D. actually stands for "Anno Domini" rather than "After Death."