Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"A year ago, I did give the speech from the carrier, saying that we had achieved an important objective, that we'd accomplished a mission, which was the removal of Saddam Hussein. And as a result, there are no longer torture chambers or rape rooms or mass graves in Iraq." —Bush, remarks in the Rose Garden, April 30, 2004
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I didn't pay a lot of attention as I should have in college."
— Vice President Dan Quayle
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#151 The fastest served ball in tennis was clocked at 154 mph in 1963.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You don't know, maaan! You weren't there!
 
 


Heart Attack

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 01/01/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she has a near death experience. During that experience she sees God and ask if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast ugmentation, tummy tuck, etc.She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she's got another 30 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out of the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital.

She arrives in front of God and complains: "I thought you said I had another 30 years.

God replies, "I didn't recognize you."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Heart Attack Victim Gets Traffic Ticket
  • Heart Shaped Box
  • Heart
  • DarwinAwards: Love From the Heart
  • Frustrated Peacenik Arrested in Attack on Highway
  • When Anacondas Attack!
  • Man in Court Over Nude Church Sword Attack
  • Man Bypasses Sleep Throughout Heart Surgery
  • Seer Fails To Predict Penis Attack
  • When kangaroos attack
  • Soccer sneak attack
  • When Lions Attack
  • Bat Attacks Prompt Quarantine Alert
  • Drunk Woman Attacks Co-Pilot In-Flight
  • Tanya attacks with a hubcap
  • Mickey Mouse attacks
  • I Stress You To Death
  • Grand-Slam Surgery Scores Big Points
  • Russian Soldier Snuffed Out
  • Caught Left-Handed

  • More Religious Jokes...

     

    Search
     
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    this is just wrong (0 replies)  
    started by calvinandhobbes
    (09.09.2000 12:24:41 PM EST)

    blasphemy at a higher level

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Rate This!

    2.87 Goofballs of 5
    61 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • Two Years Ago
    Looking for a New Church
    Three couples walk into a pastor's office. The first couple are senior citizens. The second couple are middle aged. The third couple are young and newly married.
    05.17.2010

    Old-timers Love
    Mrs. Murphy and Mrs. Cohen had been longtime close ...
    02.09.2010

    How to get to Heaven from Ireland
    I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven ...
    09.25.2009

    Bra Reglion
    A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's ...
    07.21.2009

    Lookie Here!

    Goofball Facts
     
    Licking a stamp burns 10 calories.