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George W. Bush
 
"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybodyelse is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."-The San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000
 
 

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The Afterlife

By: jakey24Published: 02/14/2008
 
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An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first would somehow come back to inform the other of the afterlife... their biggest fear being that there really was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go and, true to his word, a few weeks later as his wife sat and watched TV, she heard a ghostly voice saying, "Maude .. Maude .. "

"Is that you, John?" she asked as she looked in vain around the room, and the voice responded, "Yes Maude, I've come back just like we agreed."

"What's it like, John?" Maude asked, and John said, "Well, I get up in the morning and I have sex. Then I have breakfast, and after that more sex. I bathe in the sun for awhile and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, then have sex pretty much all afternoon. After dinner, I have sex until late at night ... and the next day it starts all over again."

"Oh, John," Maude said, "then surely you must be in heaven!"

"Not exactly," John said ..."I'm a rabbit somewhere in Wyoming."

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