God was just about done creating the universe, but he had
two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided
to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that
one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand
up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found
under an apple tree.
"I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability".
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me.
I'd love to. Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that
ability. It would be great. When I'm out working in the garden
or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it
fly. It would be so cool, I could write my name in the sand.
Oh, please God, let it be me who you give that gift to."
On and on he went, like an excited little boy
who...well...had to pee. Eve just smiled and told God that
if Adam really wanted that so badly, he should have it. It
seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and
she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this
ability.
And so, Adam was given the ability to control the direction of
his micturition while in a vertical position. He was so happy,
he celebrated by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him
and laughing with delight all the while. And it was good.
"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of leftover gifts.
"What's left in here?"
"Oh yes, " he said,
"Multiple orgasms..."
