Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
BakerMedia
Busted Tees
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, oftentimes, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I deny all the allegations and I defy the alligators!"
— indicted Chicago alderman
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#75 The average person makes 1,140 phone calls per year.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
 
 


Chinese Torture

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 08/13/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A young man is wandering, lost, in a forest when he comes upon a small house. Knocking on the door he is greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long gray beard.

'"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly",' the Chinese man said, "but on one condition." "If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man'".

"OK,", said the man, and entered the house. Over dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic body. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal.

Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone. During the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 1....Large rock on chest.".

Well, that's pretty crappy,' he thought. 'If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.

As he did so, he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle."

In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration he, jumped out of the window after the boulder.

As he plummeted towards the ground he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3....Right testicle tied to bed post."

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • The Cat With Three Testicles
  • Tea Bag
  • Brazillian Congressman Faces Expulsion, Long List of Charges
  • Animal Rights Activists Fight 'Crush' Vidoes
  • Vigilante Granny
  • Police Say Cat Killings Raise Fears for Humans
  • The 3 Chinese Curses
  • Bastinado
  • Polish Sex Quiz
  • Village Dispute Ends in Cannibalism
  • Arkansas Sex Test
  • Stalin World to Replace Disneyland?
  • Man Kills Villager In Fight, Then Eats Him
  • Arabian Goggles
  • Three Dogs in a Bathtub
  • Starched Olives
  • A Shot In The Balls
  • DarwinAwards: Gun-Totin' Granny
  • Vacationing in Mexico
  • Custom castrations done on premise

  • More Sex Jokes...

     

    Search
     
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    i guess we never hear from that guy again (0 replies)
    started by gobigred8521828
    (02.19.2001 0:15:49 AM EST)

    he is probably dad or in the hsopital still

    hello ladies what is happening? well i am a happenig guy so if you want some of this you have to be a happenig gal

    ouch (0 replies)
    started by stupidfuck
    (12.21.2000 3:27:13 PM EST)

    holyjeezfuck! that's GOTTA hurt!

    jumpinjeezuzonafrigginpogostick!

    pretty good (0 replies)
    started by ronster
    (08.26.2000 6:11:57 PM EST)

    pretty good joke never heard of it before myself LOL

    nice fucking joke (0 replies)  
    started by haysmoker
    (08.13.2000 2:02:37 PM EST)

    too bad i heard it 15 years ago.

    mind if i smoke?

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Rate This!

    3.34 Goofballs of 5
    216 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • Two Years Ago
    Gynecologist's Assistant
    A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown ...
    11.13.2009

    A Whopping Baby Boy
    An LSU fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Louisiana baby boy weighing 25 pounds...
    09.27.2009

    Secret Surgery
    A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon ...
    08.11.2009

    Lookie Here!

    Goofball Facts
     
    More people are killed annually by donkeys than in airplane crashes.