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George W. Bush
 
"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
Man Thought Hurt But Slightly Dead
— headline from the Providence (R.I.) Journal
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
 
 


High School Blues

By: JskillsPublished: 12/09/1998
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom.

"Suzy wants to go out to my car. She's really hot," one boy said. "I'm really nervous. I know I'll goof up!"

"Take it easy," his friend assured him. "All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You'll have her in the palm of your hand."

About a half-hour later the young man came back, rubbing a black eye. "Shit, man! What happened to you?!" his buddy asked.

"I took your advice."

"Didn't you compliment her?"

"Sure I did. We got in my car and started kissing. I told her that for such full lips, hers sure tasted sweet. She liked that. After a while I started feeling her tits, and I told her that for such large breasts they sure were firm. She like that too."

"It sounds like you were doing great," his friend said.

"Well," the other answered, "that's when everything went wrong. I got her dress up and her panties off, and I tried to think of another compliment."

"What did you say?"

"For such a large crack, it doesn't stink much."

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    no one will see this, (0 replies)
    started by blazed3wayz
    (01.22.2001 7:06:16 PM EST)

    but thats the funnest joke i've ever heard

    it not what you can do for your country, it's how your country can fuck you over.

    WOW (0 replies)  
    started by Fokker
    (09.03.2000 0:08:21 AM EST)

    When did this joke start? Around the 60's? Get some new material.

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    Goofball Facts
     
    Richard Milhous Nixon is the first US president whose name contained all the letters from the word 'criminal', the second is William Jefferson Clinton.