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George W. Bush
 
"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet." - Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000
 
 

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"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
— Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
 
 

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#133 Honeybees navigate by using the sun as a compass.
 
 

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Bill Gates Dies

By: KewlShrinkPublished: 03/23/1999
 
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Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never donebefore. I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly."

So, Bill went to visit Hell first. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters, and there were thousands of beautiful women running around. Bill was very pleased.

Next, he visited Heaven which was a high place in the clouds with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.

Bill though for a quick minute and rendered his decision, "Hmm. I think I prefer Hell."

Two weeks after Bill Gates went to Hell, God decided to check up on how he was doing. When God arrived, he found Bill shackled to a wall screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave as he was tortured.

"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded with his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I expected. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God replied, "Oh, Bill, that was a screen saver!"

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    Birgit (0 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (02.04.2001 6:06:45 PM EST)

    Könnten wir uns einmal irgendwo treffen?

    GAYNESS (0 replies)
    started by KaptainAype
    (11.14.2000 7:14:58 PM EST)

    There is another bill gates joke on goofball that is a lot better. Screen saver??? what is that crap? GAY GAY GAY GAY!!! Whoever made up that joke takes it from behind.

    -=KaP'N AyPe=- You Filthy Ape Ass Bitch <^>(0¿o)<^>

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    It is estimated that millions of trees in the world are accidentally planted by squirrels who bury nuts and then forget where they hid them.