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Stupid sex laws

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 05/28/1999
 
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In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)

In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds!

The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton nightshirts.

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job -- for men only -- called a corset inspector.)

However, in Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."

It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

A Florida sex law: If you're a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you can't parachute on Sunday afternoons.

Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio -- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

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    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    I fully agree with Embryo (0 replies)
    started by mrdrape
    (12.27.2000 7:25:44 PM EST)

    If ANYONE (That's "ANYONE") even dares to interrupt me while I'm finally doing a girl, and tells me "Hey, you can't do that, buddy, you're violating the law", I'll murder the person INMEDIATELY. So if it's true that those laws were abolished, good, cause I couldn't care less about those stupid, idiotic, useless, ridiculous, extravagant, hatefull, stupid, moronic, shitty laws.

    I eat scumm and then I'm done

    i wish... (2 replies)
    started by stemu84
    (11.04.2000 4:00:15 PM EST)

    that their should be a law about not letting women speak from 9pm to 7am or right after fucking punishable by death

    when life gets tuff, have a seat and jackoff!!! by the way the don said gofu*kyourself!!!!!

    Im gay (0 replies)
    started by evilgray46
    (10.22.2000 3:44:52 AM EST)

    Im gay and I love men...........

    Laws for Hillbillies (0 replies)
    started by Embryo
    (10.16.2000 11:11:00 PM EST)

    Come on. Who the fuck would arrest you for doing whatever two consenting adults do behind closed doors. I certainly would be really really upset if some asshole tried to cuff me while I was pumping some bimbo full of sperm.

    ONLY IN THE UNITED STATES would they have to make rules like this. I wonder how many states made rules restricting men from being near farm animals after dark?

    I heard there is a ... (0 replies)
    started by JSkills
    (09.19.2000 11:45:51 AM EST)

    law in NY about plungers ...


    JSkills
    Goofball Staff

    Whatever... (0 replies)
    started by bpeach99
    (09.10.2000 4:03:22 AM EST)

    90% of these laws are either made up or they were abolished nearly 100 years ago. Check 'em out if you don't believe me.

    crap no sex for mee (0 replies)
    started by bob999
    (07.12.2000 1:22:35 AM EST)

    i live in utah and now i find out i can't fuck a woman emt while she is on work shit!

    these rule (0 replies)
    started by episode
    (07.11.2000 2:48:02 AM EST)

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    fuck it!!!!

    cumsalot (3 replies)
    started by Anonymous Goofball
    (05.27.2000 10:36:54 AM EST)

    I think it should be law that the wench'es should have to let me cum in there mouths even if I have been fucking them in the ass.

    kiol (0 replies)  
    started by Renno1
    (05.26.2000 9:06:25 AM EST)

    jdufduerudhdwu

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