Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end."Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on Anniversary of No Child Left Behind Act," Jan. 8, 2003
 
 

Random Quote
 
"He ate everything but the drapes... he's a man who does like to put it down."
— Tom Brokaw, on a lunch held by President Clinton with network news anchors
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#169 The first human-made object to break the sound barrier was a whip.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
has one hand and a Clapper.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. Did you hear about the Irish guy who took niagra instead of viagra?
A. He couldnt stop pissing for a week.
 
 


Funeral Director Gets Live One In The Sack

By: BizarreNewsPublished: 02/16/2001
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

ASHLAND, Massachusetts - When emergency technicians found the the body of a 39

year-old woman slumped in a bathtub next to an empty

bottle of sleeping pills, they assumed she was dead.

So did funeral director John Matarese to whom the

apparent corpse was delivered in a body bag. He

revised his assessment when he heard gurgling noises

coming from the bag. It scared me half to death, he

said. The girl was alive. Police and emergency

technicians were unable to detect any signs of life

when they found the woman three and a half hours

earlier. She apparently overdosed on pills, police

said. The state Department of Public Health is

investigating to determine whether emergency workers

acted properly.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?


More Stupid News...

 

Search
 


Advanced Search
 
This Section

ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

You must register to participate in this discussion.
can any budy help (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.21.2001 7:22:30 PM EST)

my doctor says i need a transplant. any body willing to give me a piece of your personal areas.will be greatfull.

Incompetent paramedics! (0 replies)
started by Doctorjed
(02.21.2001 2:55:52 PM EST)

If you are a paramedic and you can't tell if someone is alive or dead, please for the sake of the rest of the world quit your job and find something where you don't have to send live people to the morgue.

The Doctor is in

this is true!! (0 replies)
started by lapiazza
(02.21.2001 12:29:37 PM EST)

I saw this story on t.v. I think it was extra or something this story is actually true!

time to leave (0 replies)
started by jakefm
(02.21.2001 9:01:26 AM EST)

when you hear someone on a body bag wakes up thats when you leave the funeral work and find a new job I live in MA and remeber seeing this story on the news

i knew that bitch (0 replies)
started by mtbeer
(02.19.2001 8:11:14 PM EST)

that chick never could do anything right

where the hell are my pants dammit!

errrrr... (0 replies)
started by sexkitten3
(02.18.2001 9:09:53 PM EST)

I dunno what i can say about this one...

sex~kitten

UH_HUH (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.17.2001 5:29:15 PM EST)

Yeah right!

wow (0 replies)
started by 127122132
(02.17.2001 2:17:30 PM EST)

shes lucky he didnt have sex with her

lee lov

sup (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.17.2001 11:49:58 AM EST)

I heard this story on the radio when it first broke... pretty scary..

I hate it when... (0 replies)
started by DeathFaze
(02.16.2001 10:33:51 PM EST)

I hate it when people click on "Submit Your Message" twice... Stupid Newbies...

"According to a poll done by Times Magazine, 4 out of 3 people can't do ratios..." - DeathFaze

This Shit Is Hard (0 replies)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.16.2001 12:56:38 PM EST)

This is one of the hardest sites I'v ever been on this year and last Peace ...

This Shit Is Hard (1 reply)
started by Anonymous Goofball
(02.16.2001 12:54:05 PM EST)

This is one of the hardest sites I'v ever been on this year and last Peace ...

oh good (0 replies)
started by spankboy
(02.16.2001 11:29:16 AM EST)

I thought this was going to be a necrophiliac story.

An orgasm will cure a headache. Take two. I recommend 'extra strength.'

Saw this (0 replies)
started by thelizard
(02.16.2001 8:59:37 AM EST)

Saw this story on Dateline....

Poison Clan rocks the world !!!!

I feel happy... (0 replies)
started by cheeseball
(02.16.2001 4:26:51 AM EST)


... I want to go for a walk...

What a way to wake up, in a body bag. That's gotta suck, like a Hoover with a crevice attachment.

I'm not dead yet... (2 replies)
started by OliverClozoff
(02.16.2001 2:33:05 AM EST)


...I'm getting better...



President, American Association of Amateur Gynecologists

Mmmmmmmmm (1 reply)  
started by panthersrevenge
(02.16.2001 0:59:27 AM EST)

this feels weird being first but I am and you suck.......LOL

Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


Most Recent
Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex
Police say a Michigan man ...
11.10.2008

Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
09.29.2008

Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
09.01.2008

Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
08.09.2008

Rate This!

3.77 Goofballs of 5
107 Viewer(s) rated

Rating the content is for registered users only.

Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Big Winner to Become Big Loser
    The winner of a $1 million lottery scratch ticket may not be so lucky after all: He's a convicted bank robber who isn't supposed to gamble. Timothy Elliott faces a Dec. 7 court hearing over whether he violated his probation when he bought the $10 ticket for the $800 Million Spectacular game at a supermarket in Hyannis.
    11.29.2007

    Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle
    They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
    11.19.2007

    Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store
    Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ...
    11.18.2007

    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Two Years Ago
    PS3's Are Too Big
    We all know that Playstation 3 is out and getting ...
    11.23.2006

    Califoria Couple Calls For Orgasm For Peace
    Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
    11.22.2006

    Brit Burns Bum With Firecracker
    A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries ...
    11.10.2006

    Burglar Robs Surveillance Camera Store
    In the long and noble history of the world's most ...
    11.07.2006

    Lookie Here!
    The Solo Joke Book

    Goofball Facts
     
    A polar bears' fur is not white, it's clear.