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	George W. Bush
	"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002

	Random Quote
	"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet." — Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books. (1991)

	Snapple Facts
	#155 In 1926, the first outdoor mini-golf courses were built on rooftops in NYC.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

	One Liners
	Q: Did you hear Bill Clinton got a new job in Washington, DC? A: Hillary hired him to open her mail!

Most Recent
	Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex Police say a Michigan man ... 11.10.2008 Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ... 09.29.2008 Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ... 09.01.2008 Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. 08.09.2008

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Section Features
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One Year Ago
	Big Winner to Become Big Loser The winner of a $1 million lottery scratch ticket may not be so lucky after all: He's a convicted bank robber who isn't supposed to gamble. Timothy Elliott faces a Dec. 7 court hearing over whether he violated his probation when he bought the $10 ticket for the $800 Million Spectacular game at a supermarket in Hyannis. 11.29.2007 Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." 11.19.2007 Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ... 11.18.2007 Thank You Science Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ... 11.03.2007

Two Years Ago
	PS3's Are Too Big We all know that Playstation 3 is out and getting ... 11.23.2006 Califoria Couple Calls For Orgasm For Peace Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home. 11.22.2006 Brit Burns Bum With Firecracker A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries ... 11.10.2006 Burglar Robs Surveillance Camera Store In the long and noble history of the world's most ... 11.07.2006

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	Goofball Facts
	Slinkys were invented by an airplane mechanic; he was playing with engine parts and realized the possible secondary use of one of the springs.