Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I think we agree, the past is over."-On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000
 
 

Random Quote
 
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."
— Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#92 Fish can drown.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
is so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
 
 

One Liners
 
Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are a $1.25, deer nuts are always under a buck.
 
 


How to Meet Women

By: RobnoxiousPublished: 03/14/2003
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

A short, dumpy man has been going around town faking choking episodes, apparently to get attention from women.

He flails his arms, coughs and sputters. After a woman rushes over to help, he showers her with gratitude, hugs and kisses.

The sheriff's office has gotten about a half-dozen calls about the Choking Man, as the Charlotte Sun Herald dubbed him. So far he has not committed any crime, though a woman on Monday went to the hospital with an anxiety attack after an encounter.

It dawned on people that he was faking it after the newspaper ran a story earlier this week about a woman in a restaurant rescuing an anonymous choking man. The paper started getting calls from women saying they, too, had had encounters with a man who matched the description.

Mary Welcher said she noticed the man outside a hospital in January, flailing his arms, gasping and turning red.

"I knew the Heimlich maneuver from having done it on one of my children," Welcher said. "I ran around and grabbed him around the waist. A piece of apple came out. He'd been eating an apple before he started choking."

As in the other reported encounters, Choking Man was gushing with gratitude.

"He was crying, sweating, hugging us and saying, `Thank you, you saved my life!'" Welcher said.

She and other women who have "saved" him described him as being in his mid-30s, 5-foot-6 and 245 pounds, with a bald spot and a mustache.

"There's been no crime. Our hands are kind of tied here," sheriff's spokesman Bob Carpenter said Friday.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Choking The Chicken
  • Meet Santa
  • 'If We Meet Face To Face, You Shoot First...'
  • Vacuum Cleaner Saves Choking Man
  • Meet Mr. Weenie
  • Choking?
  • Choking On The First Date
  • Meet The Dog
  • Meet The Parents
  • Meet 'Yo Mamma'
  • Meet My Beaver
  • Meet My Sister
  • Nice To Meet You
  • Meeting in the Delivery Room
  • Man Brings Stock Meeting To Close With Grenade
  • Meeting Of The Vultures
  • Frosty Meets The Dancing Baby
  • 'Star Wars' Meets 'The Accused'
  • Board Meeting
  • Single Men Meeting

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    you know what's funny about this is (0 replies)
    started by suicideking
    (03.16.2003 2:08:28 PM EST)

    there's a book called "Choke", by Chuck Palahniuk, the author of "Fight Club", "Invisible Monsters", "Survivor", and a few others I believe.. and in the book, the main character goes to restaurants and purposely swallows too much food and starts choking, and the people that save him usually send him birthday cards and letters and stuff for years to come, and it's how he makes all his money, asking them to help him out with different things... really cool novel

    §Üî©ìÐéK‡ñG
    I'm bleeding profusely from the anus.

    Brilliant !!!!!!!!!! (0 replies)  
    started by roger
    (03.15.2003 0:24:35 AM EST)


    My next venture.

    Thank you Choking Man.


    Just protecting my sheep

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex
    Police say a Michigan man ...
    11.10.2008

    Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
    A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
    09.29.2008

    Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
    09.01.2008

    Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
    St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
    08.09.2008

    Rate This!

    3.53 Goofballs of 5
    15 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Big Winner to Become Big Loser
    The winner of a $1 million lottery scratch ticket may not be so lucky after all: He's a convicted bank robber who isn't supposed to gamble. Timothy Elliott faces a Dec. 7 court hearing over whether he violated his probation when he bought the $10 ticket for the $800 Million Spectacular game at a supermarket in Hyannis.
    11.29.2007

    Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle
    They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
    11.19.2007

    Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store
    Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ...
    11.18.2007

    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Two Years Ago
    PS3's Are Too Big
    We all know that Playstation 3 is out and getting ...
    11.23.2006

    Califoria Couple Calls For Orgasm For Peace
    Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
    11.22.2006

    Brit Burns Bum With Firecracker
    A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries ...
    11.10.2006

    Burglar Robs Surveillance Camera Store
    In the long and noble history of the world's most ...
    11.07.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Dilbert Gives You the ...

    Goofball Facts
     
    The initials MG on the famous British-made automobile stand for Morris Garage.