Search
 


Advanced Search
 
Entire Site

Goofball Login

Cookies must be
enabled to log in

Username:

Password:

Remember Me?

»Preview
» Why Register?
»Register Now!
» Renew Now!
» Who's Online Now
» Log In Trouble?

 

Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
College Humor
EHOWA
Fark
JokeDump
Mike's List
Ogrish
Zfilter

George W. Bush
 
"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001
 
 

Random Quote
 
"The lockout is about survival, about being able to feed our families."
— NBA center Patick Ewing, who earns $15 million per season
 
 

Snapple Facts
 
#23 The San Francisco Cable cars are th only mobile national monument.
 
 

Yo Mama ...
 
... is so fat, When she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said, "Sorry, we don't do curtains!"
 
 

One Liners
 
Q. What do attorneys use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
 
 


Ways to tell your in South Africa

By: TheAdvisorPublished: 02/16/1999
 
Save article to file cabinet Send to a Friend Print this out

South Africa is known as one of the highest crime countries in the world with an annual murder rate of 52 people per 100,000 of the population.

Below is a humorous way to tell how your in South Africa:

The police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.

The Student Union "dimands" that academic achievement shouldn't be a criterion for university acceptance, as it is discriminatory.

Landlords may not evict illegal squatters unless they offer them alternative accommodation.

Protest-marching strikers trash everything in their path and that's okay, but a peaceful gay rights march is condemned.

Post Office workers are videotaped opening the mail and stealing the contents, but the film may not be used in evidence, because the workers were not informed that they were being filmed and the filming is an intrusion on their privacy.

A government Minister is caught driving her car with a forged license, but the case is dropped for "lack of evidence".

A minister of religion who stole millions from overseas-donated funds for the oppressed, returns to the country to a hero's welcome and is officially welcomed by the government, represented by the Minister of Justice.

Government ministers meet with masked gang leaders to ask their advice on how to reduce crime and violence.

Scholars protest at the lack of schooling facilities by destroying school buildings.

Two tourist athletes are murdered in their beds and the President says it won't affect tourism.

The entire country sees a thug admit on TV news to murdering several people, but the police say they have no case.

You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.

People start joking about the crime rate.

The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

You paint your cars registrations number on the roof in large letters.

A Minister is fired and returns the government cell phone, but keeps the government Bee-Em.

A 45-year-old engineer, gets replaced by a 25-year-old, who cannot write his own name.

The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.

10% of the city's population pays for everyone else's electricity and water supply, and get prosecuted if they refuse to pay.

A murderer gets a 2-year sentence and a pirate TV viewer a 6-month sentence.

The Constitutional Court declares the death sentence unconstitutional, but rules that abortion is okay.

The prisoners strike!

Police stations now hire private security firms to protect them.

Why not join the rest of us on the inside and get all of Goofball.com?

Related Links
  • Crime Does Pay But Being Stupid Doesn´t
  • Another Lesson In Crime Doesn´t Pay
  • South Park Gold
  • South Park Shoot Em Up
  • South Park Frogger
  • South Park Football
  • South Park Speedboats
  • All South Park Fans Should Know
  • South Park's Mr Hankey
  • Chef From South Park
  • Hate crimes
  • A New Meaning For Hot Wheels
  • Town Takes Infamous Name
  • Condom Reef Discovered
  • James Brown
  • Man Walking Across Africa Robbed 12 Miles Into His Journey
  • A Cursing Cutie
  • Give Me All Your Money and 10 Gallons of Ethyl
  • Posing For a Picture Poses Even Bigger Problem for Man
  • Samoan Pile Driver

  • More Stupid News...

     

    Search
     


    Advanced Search
     
    This Section

    ARTICLE FORUM LIST  

    You must register to participate in this discussion.
    jkyukjhkghgh (0 replies)  
    started by fgtrrervvf
    (02.17.2001 12:19:56 PM EST)

    jhtyuidshjudsrlhfdoidrlrj kjfjfsgjdfzkjfdbjdsljsdlk

    Goofball.com is not responsible for any content which individual users post. Goofball.com reserves the right to delete any content which it deems objectionable or in violation of any law or regulation.


    Most Recent
    Police Arrest Man For Car Wash Vacuum Sex
    Police say a Michigan man ...
    11.10.2008

    Man Charged After Passing Gas Toward Cop
    A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer ...
    09.29.2008

    Cuffed, Booked For Not Paying Library Fines
    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested ...
    09.01.2008

    Woman Kills Husband With Folding Couch
    St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.
    08.09.2008

    Rate This!

    2.97 Goofballs of 5
    111 Viewer(s) rated

    Rating the content is for registered users only.

    Section Features
  • Top Ranked Items
  • One Year Ago
    Big Winner to Become Big Loser
    The winner of a $1 million lottery scratch ticket may not be so lucky after all: He's a convicted bank robber who isn't supposed to gamble. Timothy Elliott faces a Dec. 7 court hearing over whether he violated his probation when he bought the $10 ticket for the $800 Million Spectacular game at a supermarket in Hyannis.
    11.29.2007

    Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle
    They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
    11.19.2007

    Homeless Man Dresses In Women’s Underwear, Takes Snooze At Store
    Joplin, Mo- Employees of Kohl’s department store in ...
    11.18.2007

    Thank You Science
    Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
    11.03.2007

    Two Years Ago
    PS3's Are Too Big
    We all know that Playstation 3 is out and getting ...
    11.23.2006

    Califoria Couple Calls For Orgasm For Peace
    Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
    11.22.2006

    Brit Burns Bum With Firecracker
    A 22-year-old man suffered internal injuries ...
    11.10.2006

    Burglar Robs Surveillance Camera Store
    In the long and noble history of the world's most ...
    11.07.2006

    Lookie Here!
    Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Goofball Facts
     
    Spanish Fly, the popular aphrodisiac, is made from dried beetle remains!