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Assorted Goofiness
BakerMedia
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George W. Bush |
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"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq." —Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004
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Random Quote |
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"Public speaking is very easy."
— Senator Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88
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Snapple Facts |
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#150 The first sport to be filmed was boxing in 1894.
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Yo Mama ... |
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is like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.
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One Liners |
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Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: By psychologically breaking down her confidence with a rigorous behavior modification schedule, alternating between sensory deprivation and sensory overload, thereby breaking down her conception of self, leaving her unable to resist outside suggestion.
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 School Of Hard Knocks... To The Knoggin | | By: Robnoxious | Published: 03/20/1999 | | |  |
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WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. -- High school student, Jalise
Salvatto, 16 may go to prison for up to seven years for
bashing
her pregnant teacher in the head with a hammer. Ms. Salvatto
attacked her social studies teacher Dawn Jawrower, hitting her
twice with a carpenter's hammer. Jalise said she was angry
because Mrs. Jawrower had gone to her parents about her poor
grades, causing her to miss the prom. Mrs. Jawrower, who
suffered a fractured skull, said that she has almost fully
recovered and that her baby, a boy now 3 months old, is fine.
She has returned to teaching in another school. Miss Salvatto
pleaded guilty to assault. "I feel really bad for what I've
done," she said, weeping. "I felt worse when I found out you
were pregnant. If I could take it back I would, in a second.
...I just want you to forgive me."
— Like being pregnant should make the
difference.
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Final Finish
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| Section Features
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| One Year Ago
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Big Winner to Become Big Loser
The winner of a $1 million lottery scratch ticket may not be so lucky after all: He's a convicted bank robber who isn't supposed to gamble. Timothy Elliott faces a Dec. 7 court hearing over whether he violated his probation when he bought the $10 ticket for the $800 Million Spectacular game at a supermarket in Hyannis.
11.29.2007
Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle
They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
11.19.2007
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11.18.2007
Thank You Science
Researchers at Granada University in Spain said drinking beer after strenuous physical activity can be beneficial for the body. The scientists said their study found beer can help dehydrated people retain liquid better than water alone ...
11.03.2007
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| Two Years Ago
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| Lookie Here!
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Goofball Facts |
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A one minute kiss burns 26 calories.
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