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	George W. Bush
	"We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat—I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit." Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: Small Businesses Location," March 18, 2002 The second edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Phrase, Saying and Quotation recently recognized Bush's er ... contributions to the English language. Under the heading "Bushisms," the dictionary includes such Bush classics as, "We are ready for any unforseen event which may or may not happen."

	Random Quote
	"If I had a nickle for every fat chick I banged, i'd be a very rich man." — Robnoxious, CEO, Goofball.com

	Snapple Facts

	Yo Mama ...
	so ugly zookeepers said thanks for bringin' the bitch back!

	One Liners

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	College student files suit for $1.8M saying Las Vegas hooker didn't spend enough time with him A New York college student who claims a Las Vegas hooker did not spend enough time making him happy has sued ... 01.21.2011 Man Gets Probation For Deer Sex SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with ... 01.12.2011 Want to Touch My Monkeys A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City's international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing ... 08.02.2010 Woman Says Bowel Caused Alleged Shoplifting A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome ... 08.01.2010

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One Year Ago
	College student files suit for $1.8M saying Las Vegas hooker didn't spend enough time with him A New York college student who claims a Las Vegas hooker did not spend enough time making him happy has sued ... 01.21.2011 Man Gets Probation For Deer Sex SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with ... 01.12.2011 Want to Touch My Monkeys A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City's international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing ... 08.02.2010 Woman Says Bowel Caused Alleged Shoplifting A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome ... 08.01.2010

Two Years Ago
	Transvestites On Trial For Theft SHANGHAI – Five Filipino transvestites have gone ... 11.14.2009 Woman Pleads Guilty In Road Rage / Salad Dressing Case BOISE, Idaho – An Idaho woman accused of ramming her ... 11.13.2009 Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison. 10.28.2009 Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway A man who told officers he was a ... 10.11.2009

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	Goofball Facts
	"Mr. Mojo Risin" is an anagram for Jim Morrison.