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	George W. Bush
	"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics." - Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

	Random Quote
	Man Thought Hurt But Slightly Dead — headline from the Providence (R.I.) Journal

	Snapple Facts
	#74 You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.

	Yo Mama ...
	is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

	One Liners
	Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A. A nervous wreck.

Most Recent
	College student files suit for $1.8M saying Las Vegas hooker didn't spend enough time with him A New York college student who claims a Las Vegas hooker did not spend enough time making him happy has sued ... 01.21.2011 Man Gets Probation For Deer Sex SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with ... 01.12.2011 Want to Touch My Monkeys A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City's international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing ... 08.02.2010 Woman Says Bowel Caused Alleged Shoplifting A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome ... 08.01.2010

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Section Features
	Top Ranked Items

One Year Ago
	College student files suit for $1.8M saying Las Vegas hooker didn't spend enough time with him A New York college student who claims a Las Vegas hooker did not spend enough time making him happy has sued ... 01.21.2011 Man Gets Probation For Deer Sex SUPERIOR, Wis. - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with ... 01.12.2011 Want to Touch My Monkeys A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City's international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing ... 08.02.2010 Woman Says Bowel Caused Alleged Shoplifting A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome ... 08.01.2010

Two Years Ago
	Transvestites On Trial For Theft SHANGHAI – Five Filipino transvestites have gone ... 11.14.2009 Woman Pleads Guilty In Road Rage / Salad Dressing Case BOISE, Idaho – An Idaho woman accused of ramming her ... 11.13.2009 Man Who Threw Feces In CA Courtroom Gets 31 Years A man who sneaked a bag of his feces into a San Diego courtroom during his home-invasion robbery trial, smeared it on his lawyer and threw it at jurors has been sentenced to 31 years in prison. 10.28.2009 Nude Man Accused Of Pounding On Cars On A Highway A man who told officers he was a ... 10.11.2009

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	Goofball Facts
	Richard Milhous Nixon is the first US president whose name contained all the letters from the word 'criminal', the second is William Jefferson Clinton.